Grief is in my life

Yes. Its hard to think that grief and loss can be integrated into ones life, the idea of never having it sounds awesome but its making me who I am today. I will never forget her if I can do this.

~

Reaching Out:

I used to feel I could count on my family when my nana was around. We automatically gravitated to her like a beacon of light in the dark. But this light was taken away and all I could see was the darkness. I was truly alone. I felt like an outsider to my mom and aunts because they seemed to be still so tightly knit together, united in their grief for my nana. They had the greatest bond, sisterhood, and I could never be that with them, their blood sister. My connection to my nana was a lot like that though, that pure woman to woman bond without judgement or interference of a dominating role. My nana was pushy and opinionated but she truly valued me as a woman on a path in my own life. My mom and aunts have that with each other and I can't help but feel they have a greater right to their grief because they lost their mom! but I know that what I had with nana was truly special too and I had lived with her for 6 years, we created something so special I just want that bond to be validated and nana is not here to do that. Nana has always been there for me. I miss her and wish I could share this, but everyone feels so far away.