Guilt

Yes. I've been guilty my whole life. Since Childhood I've felt the weight of responsibility for the world, my family, things I can't control. Maybe guilt and pleasing people go hand in hand.

I did at one point have an awful dark thought when my nana was alive. At the time, I was feeling guilty for having such a busy life and felt relief at the thought she would no longer be here one day and how I wouldn't feel guilty anymore or responsible to her. This was just a flashing thought, but I wish I never felt that and hate that my thought came true...its not how I imagined it would be. I miss her.